Thursday, October 20, 2016

My Life as a White Trash Zombie

My Life as a White Trash Zombie

Diana Rowland, DAW Books, July 2011, 310 pgs

Angel Crawford is a loser. A high school dropout with a criminal record and a pill habit, she lives with her alcoholic dad in the swamps of southern Louisiana, bouncing from one crappy minimum wage job after another. Angel’s got a bad attitude and worse prospects, but things could hardly get worse, right?

Turns out they can – she wakes up in the ER after being found unconscious on the side of the road after overdosing. The weird thing is that, even though she has nightmarish memories of a car crash, there’s not a scratch on her. Then she finds a letter addressed to her that says her parole officer can find out she was on drugs or she can take a job waiting for her at the morgue. Now Angel has a bizarre career, a crush on a way-sexy cop, and a new addiction – brains. And just when she starts to get a handle on her new life, a serial killer comes to town and starts decapitating his victims! If things don’t start looking up, Angel is dead meat – literally. 

I adore Angel Crawford. She is quite honestly the best part of this book – sarcastic, tough-as- nails, foul- mouthed, and determined as hell. It’s a lot of fun watching her grow and develop, and she makes you laugh and cry in turn. There’s surprisingly little action – most of the drama is internal as she tries to come to terms with being a zombie – but it’s a good read in a fun few hours.

If you like “My Life as a White Trash Zombie” as much as I did, you’ll be happy to know that Angel Crawford’s story continues in “Even White Trash Zombies Get the Blues” and “White Trash Zombie Apocalypse.” Diana Rowland didn’t stop at the shambling undead, either – heroine Karen Gillian kicks major butt in “Secrets of the Demon,” “Sins of the Demon,” and “Touch of the Demon.” I’m looking forward to snagging the next few books in both series, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Nostalgia & Zombies

I’ve decided to start my blog with books that follow a theme, and since October (or as I call it, the month of Halloween) is pretty much my favorite, I went with the old tried-and-true theme of zombies. I’ve read a lot of zombie books – some were good, some were okay, a lot were stinkers - but then I found Max Brallier’s “Can YOU Survive the Zombie Apocalypse?”  This is schlock that is so bad it’s good, and I just had to share it with you. Despite how it sounds, this is not a pseudo-survival guide to prepare you for either a literal or symbolic zombie uprising – this is a choose-your-own adventure book for adults. And it’s cheesy and snarky and just so much fun!

The story opens on the main character, a mid-twenties man stuck in another soul-crushing morning meeting in his Manhattan office, cursing his hangover and the prospect of another muggy summer day in New York. Suddenly, an assistant rushes in with news of riots in the streets – and you watch in horror as the riot is revealed to be the shambling undead. To quote the book, “You have choices to make now – lots of them. Moral dilemmas. Strategic decisions. Weapons, Vehicles. Will you be a hero? Or will you cover your own ass at all costs? Will you survive the coming hours, days, weeks, and months? Or will you die amidst the chaos and violence of a zombie uprising? Or, worst of all, will you become one of them…?”

Published by Gallery Books, “Can YOU Survive the Zombie Apocalypse?” is 100% aimed at adults. The violence described is graphic, the deaths are disturbingly detailed, and F-bombs are tossed around like glitter. But the snarky commentary makes you laugh, the characters – ranging from condescending comic geeks to unhinged gun-wielding extremists to ninja strippers - have you cheering and cursing in turns, and the black and white artwork helps the creep factor. There are 100 paths for you to take, with 50 different endings, so you can re-read it multiple times without getting bored.

It’s a fun read geared towards zombie fanatics and general readers alike, and makes a great addition to your library or a gift for that hard to shop for friend. So pick it up and give it a chance! “The choice is yours. And hey, if you don’t make it – you’ve got no one to blame but yourself.”

Can YOU Survive the Zombie Apocalypse?
Max Brallier
Gallery Books

Better Late Than Never

Hi, I’m Kirstin, and I’m addicted to books. I’m a voracious reader, usually finishing a 400+ page book between breaks at work and devouring multiple larger books on a day off. I’ve successfully navigated a busy high school hallway without taking my eyes off the page or plowing into anyone. I’m notorious for walking out of my local library with a dozen thick hardback volumes and coming back for more before the week is out, and my husband teases me that second-hand bookstores are my drug of choice. (He’s totally right, too.) The quick background was necessary to explain how I came to this stop on my bookwormish road as a blogger and reviewer for Delphian Hope Publishing. Because I go through books the way chain smokers go through cigarettes, you’d think this would be a no brainer. Piece of cake, right? Turns out, not so much.
I don’t really know how to write a review. Last time I wrote one was a seventh grade book report, and I want to say it was on the Three Musketeers – so everyone reading this is going to have to bear with me while I figure this out.  All set? Sweet. So here we go!

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Fun Fact Friday! Or: My Not So Secret Shame...

I love terrible shows. I love them. Shut up! I love them! And I don't mean I love them, but no-one else knows - I mean EVERYONE KNOWS. I fly my lame nerd flag proudly.

You don't believe me? You think I'm exaggerating?

I LOVE BIKER MICE FROM MARS. It was a show from the 90's based on a comic book about 3 anthropomorphized mice from mars with antenna that rode motorcycles, drank root beer, and lived in Wrigley Field's scoreboard and they fought fish monster aliens named after smelly cheeses. I had some of the toys. My sister just got me a lamp with one of the characters for a base and not only do I love it, I am trying to hunt down a shade. I'm still searching for the full series on DVD or VHS (seriously - I'd cut a bitch for it).

Howard the Duck has a permanent place of honor on my movie shelves. I GODDAMN LOVE THAT DUCK. I still laugh my ass off through the whole thing, and sing the Howard the Duck theme at every given opportunity (to my husband's dismay).

One of my favorite book series is called My Life As A Redneck Zombie, and yes, it's as bad as you think. And it's DELIGHTFUL.

I play Conker's Bad Fur Day on a regular basis.

The Doom Movie. All of the Terminators. Don't even give me that look.


And you know what? Loving all these admittedly terrible movies/books/games is liberating. Because I really don't care what everyone else thinks - they make me laugh, or cheer at explosions, or giggle at inappropriate wording, and it's great! I love them, and because of that, I don't take life too seriously, or go around sticking my nose in the air, or even freak out over my mistakes - because someone loved these characters enough to put them out there for me to find.

You may start out great, you may have to put in a lot of effort to achieve greatness, but don't ever feel embarrassed for loving something other people think is dumb. After all, if George Lucas can produce Howard the Duck, anything is possible.

(And for reals - let me know about those Biker Mice DVDs.)

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Oooo, this is nice! I feel a bit like the Doctor with a new regeneration!

Eyes, check. Arms, lovely - can't make anything without those; fingers - all in working order. Knees ... bit dodgy, but they'll do. Curiosity, check! Imagination... is crammed as full as my junk drawer (have to fix that). Sanity - sanity? *peeks under tables and beneath the rug* ...huh. Looks like we have a runner. No worries! Us artistically-minded and disturbingly hyperactive don't really need it.

So! I can't promise that I'll be any good at posting in anything resembling a timely fashion, but I will do my very best. I'm trying very hard to spread the word about my Etsy shop so that I can start making toys full time, so please bear with me.

My shop is currently focused on felt toys, but I am thinking about spreading out to other types of materials - crochet is an option, I'm working with fleece for the first time, and I'm really, really hoping to start working on some gaming materials by Christmas (cause why should little children have all the fun?). I plan on showing off some craft projects that I've done as gifts, but that may have to wait till after the holidays because, let's face it, I'm not as computer-savvy as my young relatives and I hate spoilers.

So, we're off! Allon-ze, Alonzo!